des petits choux

Sorry I fell off the face of the earth for a while. Let's get everyone caught up. ^_^ (And please forgive me if some of it is out of chronological order, my memory isn't very good and it's been very chaotic lately.)

In June and July, Steve and I were packing and getting ready to move to Ft. Bragg, NC. I wanted to get my driver's license in KY so that I didn't have to wait 6 months for residency in NC. (In hindsight, I stayed in KY for almost 6 months anyways, but that's beside the point.)

In August, Steve moved all the furniture and stuff to our rented house in NC and then deployed to Afghanistan with his new SF unit. (He called once a week for several months and said he loved the new group of guys he worked with out there.) We signed a lease with a soldier who was going through a divorce so he would rent our house here in KY. I was still trying to get my license, so I needed to stay in KY. I moved in with Bryan and Janet and their two kids, 2-yr-old Michael and 3-yr-old Sarah. (I think this was also the month Janet went to Maryland for two weeks to "decide if she still wanted to be a mother".)

In September, our renter broke his lease, so Bryan introduced me to Franco, the new soldier in the unit. Franco and his wife and two kids are now living in my house. (And they are sort of pissing me off. He punched a hole in the bedroom wall and they didn't call me to tell me. I only know because they called me when the heater unit broke. But then when the kitchen sink broke, they called Bryan instead of me. [Granted, I would have asked Bryan to fix it anyways, but I do want to know what's happening in my own house.] And they changed the lock on the basement door without my permission. I'm going to talk to them about it later today.) I think that was also the month I almost got arrested for getting beligerant in the licensing office. This whole 5-month period is a bit of a blur.

In October, Janet got hooked on WoW. This is partially my fault, as I was playing it at nights and naptime. However, before WoW she was using Sims 3 or Diablo to avoid her kids, so that part isn't my fault. I had a bit of fun on Halloween, but Janet managed to ruin that too. (It'll become more clear why I hate her a little further down.) And the week before Halloween was the last time Steve called me from Afghanistan. We'd been fighting a lot, and he was on Facebook the entire month of November, telling everyone that he was mad that I was spending all the money (which I wasn't doing intentionally, we just had too many bills and not enough income).

In November, I finally got my driver's license! And the charges against me were dropped. And I was planning to drive to NC the weekend after Thanksgiving, but I stayed an extra week to help Bryan with the kids. Why did Bryan need my help with the kids? Because Janet ran off to St. Louis to be with a guy from her WoW guild (who is also going through a divorce because he beat his wife and she's trying to take full custody of their son, who is apparently his fifth kid by five different mothers). No one expected the marriage to work out, they were headed for divorce for years, but we were all blown away that she would abandon her children like that. So I stayed for a week to help Bryan find day care and everything, and then I drove to NC the first week of December.

In December, everything got super-complicated. Steve hadn't called me for 5 weeks, so I was planning to drive to NC, repack a few unstable boxes, and bring all my stuff back to KY before he even came home from Afghanistan. I was pretty well convinced that he didn't want to be married to me. On the 5th I was packing up my car and I found the phone number for Steve's Rear D office. On a whim, I called them. Originally he said he'd be coming back between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but in November (read: the 6 weeks he didn't call me) his mother told me that the deployment was getting extended until March. So I called the office in NC and said "Hi, I'm married to Steve, he's in Afghanistan and I heard a rumor that the return date was changed to March. I don't need an exact date, but I was just wondering if y'all could tell me what month he would be back." The guy said "Let me check the roster... Yes ma'am, his plane lands tomorrow night at 8." I about died. So I drove to NC like I planned, arrived Saturday night, and his flight got delayed to Monday night. Sunday night Brittany wanted chicken nuggets for dinner, so we got in the car to drive to McDonald's and I hit a deer. Airbags didn't deploy, and at first I didn't think there was any damage (it was too dark to look at my car real well), so I drove home and ordered a pizza. Monday morning I opened the hood to find a large hole where the radiator connects to the frame. We ended up having to replace the radiator. Thank goodness it was winter, and the hole was at the top, so I still drove my car to pick Steve up. A little scary, but nothing too terribly bad.
I picked Steve up Monday night. He didn't kiss me for the first half hour. (Granted, he hadn't called me for 6 weeks, and he told me afterwards that he thought it would be very awkward to kiss me so suddenly. Which he's probably right about.) And 4 hours later, I pointed out that he hadn't said he loved me. So of course he said he loved me, wanted to be a better husband, all this lovely romantic stuff. And then the whole week I was watching Brittany and making meals (with no dishes, because they were all still in a box) and scrubbing black mold off 80% of my possessions including a lot of my clothes which are now completely ruined by mold stains, and he played on the PS3 and then WoW once the internet got turned on. So at the end of the week I said "I don't feel loved, I don't feel wanted, I feel used. I have been doing everything you've said you wanted me to do, and you have done nothing." (We discussed the 5 love languages multiple times, including most recently in June, and he said he appreciates acts of service like cleaning and cooking. I explained that I'm a quality time person, and I need to feel like my partner -wants- to spend with me. So he knew that, he's known that for a while.) He kind of looked down and asked what I wanted to do now. I said I wanted a divorce, and he said "Ok."

So we're officially getting a divorce. I'm filing the paperwork after we get paid on the 1st.

Oh, right, holidays. I got most of the moldy boxes thrown out, and the stuff re-packed or thrown out. Steve wanted to go to California for Christmas to be with his family, and I didn't want to be alone, so I drove out to KY to stay with Bryan and the kids. I'm filing the divorce paperwork out here, and then driving back to NC for a week or so to finish cleaning and packing. When that's done, I'm coming back to KY to get a job and a place and everything. I'll be staying with Bryan until all that is worked out.

Bryan has been totally supportive, and is my best friend in the whole world. Everybody says we're cute together, but I think that's mostly because we are happy hanging out together and comparatively we've been miserable with our spouses. And Janet's mom said I've been more of a mother to the kids in the last 5 months than Janet has been for the last 3 years. She wants me to just stay and raise the kids and be her new daughter, teehee. Bryan's like 40 years old though, and I'm definitely not rushing into another marriage. But we have a lot of fun together. He's a sergeant in the Army, but he works a second job at the laser tag place, so we used to go play while Janet ignored the kids at home. And we wrestle with the kids a lot. And Halloween was totally fun.


Christmas was a blast. I finally got my grandmother's potato recipe and it was fabulous! And the kids got a ton of fun toys and gifts, so they enjoyed it. Bryan and I kind of spoiled each other a bit. I got him this awesome dragon-shaped dagger, and he got me an iPod. (I know! A freaking iPod! It's so awesome! And the first album I bought was the soundtrack from the Disney show "Phineas and Ferb", lol. I got a bunch of country songs too, and I put a bunch of Disney soundtracks on my wishlist for after I get my job.)


For right now, my plan is to bring my stuff back and put my boxes in Bryan's garage, get a job and day care and an apartment, and be independent as a single mother. Steve and I are still being amicable (for now, although it's becoming less and less friendly every day), so we're keeping the house and making improvements and selling it and splitting the profit. But my plans never go according to plan. And I'm totally prepared for that. :)

I have become totally unenthusiastic about WoW again. It's become too routine. Bryan and Steve and I started roleplaying together, which was terribly much fun until Bryan had an emotional meltdown completely unrelated to WoW. Bryan and I talked about playing again for the last few nights, but I've been too exhausted to be very creative. Michael and Brittany have been puking and I expect Sarah will be sick today or tomorrow. I'm trying to keep myself healthy too, so that I can take care of the kids, but I've been feeling really weak for a couple days now.


TL;DR is... My life has been a roller coaster, but it looks like I'm coming to the end of the ride and hopefully I can be stable again soon.


Oh! And one last thing before I go do more laundry. I am trying to plan a visit to WA around the end of February. So if y'all are still up there, and you want to see the cuteness that is my daughter, my phone hasn't changed. :)
~ Tig

So NPR tells me that Saudi Arabia is arresting and executing people for Sorcery now.  Maybe this is not new, but I feel like witch-hunts have been gaining momentum (or perhaps just more press coverage.)  Either way, New Rules apparently apply to Muslims and non-Muslims, as well as to non-Saudis.  Sounds like a party.



Meanwhile, Uganda is cracking down on teh gays and throwing them in jail.  (Apparently they initially wanted to execute the offenders, but I guess it didn't pass?)  New Rules, for bonus points, also apply to people who know of gay people and don't report them.  Know a queer?  Fail to report them?  You get to go to jail too!  Double trouble.  

Is v. pretty.

Also? Basically a cross between Pocahontas and Fern Gully with higher tech and cooler scenery and more angst. And Sigourney Weaver is awesome, as always and oh, what I just realized main blue-girl was Zoe Saldana, aka Lt. Uhura and Anamaria from Pirates of the Caribbean.  No wonder I liked her so much. 


And phosphorescence is oodles of fun. 

Who else is here? Let's jam.

ALSO, Allison deserves ALL THE COOKIES IN THE WORLD for walking approximately five miles in eight inches of snow (in, if I remember her shoe collection correctly - appallingly inappropriate shoes) to send me my USDA Transcripts by express mail so I won't have a severe case of Application FAIL. (I ordered them a month and a half ago. When I called in a panic for the third time on the 11th they swore up and down they were putting the transcripts in the mail right that afternoon. And then, even though I'm about twenty blocks away, in the SAME CITY as the USDA Graduate School, the transcripts hadn't arrived by Wednesday, and when they finally DID arrive, on Friday, they were postmarked the 16th.)


I finally got in touch with them yesterday and asked USDA to express mail me transcripts, but I don't actually trust them to do it properly.  

...I just wanted to be clear that it was not irresponsibility on my part that led to this mess, but also, that Allison went ABOVE AND BEYOND the call of duty, and totally rocks.  

Me: When you get to the lighthouse, I don't want to know.
Allison: What?
Me: Just. I don't want to know.
Allison: Okay, whatever.

*next day*

Me: I HAD BATTLE ROYALE DREAMS AND IT'S YOUR FAULT.
Allison: Really?
Me: YES. STOP TELLING ME ABOUT THAT HIDEOUS BOOK.
Allison: So I got to the lighthouse bit and it wasn't actually that bad, considering.
Me: GAH! Don't talk to me! I'm very pointedly never reading this book FOR A GOOD REASON, which is that I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.
Allison: So, yeah, I was all preparing myself for something really horrible, and then it was just guns, which, given the rest of the book? Not that bad.
Me: I can't believe you're reading this before bed.
Allison: Why? It's not giving me nightmares.
Me: It's giving me nightmares!
Allison: Oh. Well.